Do you ever feel more like a spectator, than a participant at a social gathering? Or maybe even in life in general?
Growing up, I spent most of my life as a spectator. Observing more than participating.
I remember feeling like an outsider, like someone watching a movie, and everyone around me was part of the cast, but I was not. No one was bullying me or teasing me, and I did have a few friends, but circumstances, and maybe just my personality, made me The odd one out..
A definition of The odd one out states: “Deviating from what is ordinary, usual, or expected; strange or peculiar.”
That describes me pretty well, but today I am no longer just a spectator – I participate. I am now the odd one out participation in my own life, instead of just observing it.
When I was a teenager, I was somewhat isolated. My mother was sick for many years, and my everyday life was limited to school and staying at home taking care of her. That was my small world, and I never really felt part of anything else, even when I did attend social events.
I did find one hobby that changed my life. Dancing! But even as a dance student, I never really felt as a participant in a group. I attended dance class in Copenhagen 4 – 5 times a week, but I never talked to any of the other students there – I just showed up, did the training, and went back home.
At the dance studio that I attended there was a photographer who used to take pictures of us – and he took this one of me, observing!
Even though it was not always funny to be the odd one out, today I feel grateful. Odd has done me well, and today I surround myself with other odd people. However messed up – surviving difficulties and accepting the reality of odd, is truly a blessing.
It is only within the last year that my role as a spectator has really changed to participant. I think, that I have mentioned this in a previous post; I have made it into a rule, that whenever I hesitate I step forward instead of stepping back. And so far, it has brought me nothing but great experiences.
Right now I am actually in Hamburg, and have just spent the weekend with odd friends that I love and value – doing odd things, without hesitation.
Love to share!
Yesterday we accidently crashed a birthday party at the harbor – we watched a beautiful sunset, and two of my friends jumped in the water and went for a swim.
Being part of that experience made me feel so alive and content. Actually feeling content is the best way to describe how I feel, when I do not hesitate, and decide to step forward instead of backwards.
It is always now! Why not decide to participate – now?